When I found out I was pregnant I wasn’t exactly ecstatic. I was nervous, I hadn’t planned it. The thing about is me that I plan EVERYTHING. I’ve had my whole life planned out since I was 10 years old. I did the prenatal yoga, only gained 20 pounds because of morning sickness, never had gestational diabetes or edema. I had a birth plan and it was going to be amazing. I planned on having a natural childbirth which meant no medication, boy did that quickly change. Instead I had an emergency c-section. I was DEVASTATED. Ultimately having a healthy baby was the most important thing in my mind.
I began to understand that life had other plans for me. As a new mom I thought I could keep up with my routine but my OCD took over. I also didn’t plan on taking a sick baby home. Fast forward to the present, where I am now a mother to a five year old I am still realizing that there are changes. Change is inevitable. Life happens and things change, that isn’t necessarily a bad thing. My mom always said, wait until you have one of your own and then we’ll talk. I never got that opportunity but boy was she right!
Parenting you is hard. It’s difficult to say the least. You’re my steadfast, determined little guy. You have a mind of your own and you speak your mind freely. Sometimes it hurts my feelings. The thing is that I am just starting to realize that even though it’s hard, I don’t do easy. I never have and I never will. Parenting you will be my greatest challenge. Where other children are less demanding; you are head strong. You’re vocal and that’s not something I can always handle. I am working on my patience and often wish I was more patient. You call me out and remind me that we’re a “team” even when I don’t feel like we are. Parenting you is a splendid adventure, I never know what you’re going to say or do. You’re just unpredictable but that’s you.
Sometimes I suck, we both know that but you love me regardless. I hope you never forget that I love you with all of my being and that you will forever be my greatest accomplishment. I promise that I will work hard towards earning your love and admiration EVERY.SINGLE.DAY. and that even the days where I suck; I am still trying my very best.
More importantly I want you to know, that I believe in you, in us. I believe that there isn’t anything we can’t overcome together. I recognize that we have a lot of work ahead of us and it will be tough on some days BUT nothing worth having, comes easy.
How do you handle meltdowns? Rough days? Any mommy tips are always appreciated. 🙂