How to keep your sanity while being a mom & become a better one while you’re at it!!

There’s this notion that moms are meant to keep it together ALL THE TIME- Well I lose my shit daily. Don’t get me wrong, I love my kid.. more than anything. It is hard to keep my sanity these days with a rambunctious kid who doesn’t stop at any cost. It’s exhausting – how can anyone keep up? I only have one kid but trust me, he is a HANDFUL.

If I told you how many times I’ve lost my patience and then later regretted it, well.. it’s not something I’m proud of. Truth is, I am so incredibly flawed. Sometimes I’m tired and I’ve had a long day, I don’t have the patience to repeat myself 100 times (because it feels like 100 even though it’s not). Other times I don’t feel like repeating myself so much, didn’t you get that the first time Anthony? Am I speaking another language?

In fact, it’s why I recently got another job. A normal 9-5 job – M-Fri gig. I was tired of retail and truth is, no job is more important than being with my son.

Besides I wrote this because I, myself am learning how to do these things and feel that they are effective if done consistently.

Here’s a few things I have been doing lately to keep my head screwed on straight and not react so quickly –

  1. I breathe, seriously just breathe. It will help you to collect yourself if even for a moment AND keep you from overreacting.
  2. Take a time out. Give your kid one and take one for yourself. Then talk it out, no seriously do a lot of talking. Whenever I punish Anthony, I talk it out. I explain to him the WHY, because the why is important. He needs to understand so that he doesn’t do it again. If he does it again then there are repercussions.
  3. Count to 10..remember little people have feelings too. If you get upset, what good does that do? Trust me, it’s hard.. especially when they don’t listen! But you don’t want to overreact and then have them thinking that’s the way to behave.. it’s not.
  4. Take time for you.. maybe that’s a hot shower, time to read a book, whatever that may be it is so important because if not your patience WILL wear thin. I know this is easier said than done, especially if you have small children. But I find that if I make a point of it, there is always a small window of time for me.
  5. Remind yourself that this is only a phase, it won’t last forever. When my kid is being EXTRA difficult I remind myself of this. It makes the world of difference. I will miss him being this small; everyone says it and I know it. Sometimes things feel immensely huge when in fact they aren’t. This too shall pass.

I think Anthony has caught on to this. I try to make sure he knows I mean business. Still I realize he’s a kid and kids do well, kid stuff.

I hope this list helped you in some sort of way and reminded you that we are all struggling here, there’s room for us all on the struggle bus!

If you do something specific to keep your “cool” then let me know! I would love to hear it!!

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4 thoughts on “How to keep your sanity while being a mom & become a better one while you’re at it!!

  1. If you don’t feel like you don’t have your shit together at least once a day being a mom, you are full of shit! We all WANT to have it together and be that perfect mom. But reality is, we don’t need to be so hard on ourselves because to our little humans, we are the most perfect person in the world and all the mistakes we make will be forgotten within a few minutes when we are showing them just how much we love them!!! ❤

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    • I agree! Man, I repeat this to myself the days where I am extra tough and can’t seem to get a break. Tough love is so important, I know that Tony gets this but sometimes it’s hard. Xo, Jasmine

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  2. I have two kids who are very different in so many ways. My son is 13 my daughter is 8. It wasn’t easy when it was just my son, 1st time mom and learning as I went. He was very easy and calm. We struggled with some things but nothing out of this world. Even now ( so far, so good) it’s been good. Then we decided on child #2 and it was rough since she was born. Still now very strong willed and stubborn ( I’ve been told she takes after me) feisty and challenges me almost every step of the way. Im a stay at home mom so it’s literally is a job I do not check out of. So yes, I loose my shit when their busy schedules mixes with what I need to do and they don’t cooperate. I don’t believe in hitting ( I’m heavy handed) because I quickly regret it. I’m lucky to some extent that when I’m upset and my tone changes they pick up on it quick enough where they snap out of it before I have to yell. Do I yell? Absolutely. Its. Mostly because it gets their attention quick or there are other factors in the mix. I speak to them and am very clear of what’s needed of them and why. The WHY should be the focus of any conversation. Kids need to learn that every action has a reaction ( positive or negative) and it’s the perfect way To teach a lesson . But I keep very fresh in my mind that they will test you and they will try to do their own thing and it’s part of the process of figuring things out on their own that’s also important. Balance is key. I’m their mom before being their friend. I praise and celebrate when they do well and give out consequences when they don’t. I’m not perfect, and I try to learn from every new experience and how or what I could do better. I use the time they are in school to do the things I have to do and the things I enjoy doing so when I have them back at the end of their day I’m ready to be mom again. Parenting is not easy and that’s ok. We also need to remind ourselves it’s not a one size fits all. But it is the most rewarding job.

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    • Wow! Kudos to you! It is hard, Tony is very strong willed. I don’t mind his personality but sometimes he pushes my buttons. It isn’t easy when you have OCD and have the day planned and then something happens – I’ve learned to forgive. I also don’t like to hit, I got hit when I was a kid and most of the time it made no difference to me. I didn’t learn anything. I believe grounding is much more effective and TALKING. I talk until his ears fall off and he gets the point. My mom wasn’t the best at communicating and I have realized I need to communicate. Stay at home moms are super heroes!! I sometimes wish I could do it but honestly speaking, I am not sure it would be for me. I believe as long as you do your best then that’s all we can do. Xo, Jasmine

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