There’s this notion that moms are meant to keep it together ALL THE TIME- Well I lose my shit daily. Don’t get me wrong, I love my kid.. more than anything. It is hard to keep my sanity these days with a rambunctious kid who doesn’t stop at any cost. It’s exhausting – how can anyone keep up? I only have one kid but trust me, he is a HANDFUL.
If I told you how many times I’ve lost my patience and then later regretted it, well.. it’s not something I’m proud of. Truth is, I am so incredibly flawed. Sometimes I’m tired and I’ve had a long day, I don’t have the patience to repeat myself 100 times (because it feels like 100 even though it’s not). Other times I don’t feel like repeating myself so much, didn’t you get that the first time Anthony? Am I speaking another language?
In fact, it’s why I recently got another job. A normal 9-5 job – M-Fri gig. I was tired of retail and truth is, no job is more important than being with my son.
Besides I wrote this because I, myself am learning how to do these things and feel that they are effective if done consistently.
Here’s a few things I have been doing lately to keep my head screwed on straight and not react so quickly –
- I breathe, seriously just breathe. It will help you to collect yourself if even for a moment AND keep you from overreacting.
- Take a time out. Give your kid one and take one for yourself. Then talk it out, no seriously do a lot of talking. Whenever I punish Anthony, I talk it out. I explain to him the WHY, because the why is important. He needs to understand so that he doesn’t do it again. If he does it again then there are repercussions.
- Count to 10..remember little people have feelings too. If you get upset, what good does that do? Trust me, it’s hard.. especially when they don’t listen! But you don’t want to overreact and then have them thinking that’s the way to behave.. it’s not.
- Take time for you.. maybe that’s a hot shower, time to read a book, whatever that may be it is so important because if not your patience WILL wear thin. I know this is easier said than done, especially if you have small children. But I find that if I make a point of it, there is always a small window of time for me.
- Remind yourself that this is only a phase, it won’t last forever. When my kid is being EXTRA difficult I remind myself of this. It makes the world of difference. I will miss him being this small; everyone says it and I know it. Sometimes things feel immensely huge when in fact they aren’t. This too shall pass.
I think Anthony has caught on to this. I try to make sure he knows I mean business. Still I realize he’s a kid and kids do well, kid stuff.
I hope this list helped you in some sort of way and reminded you that we are all struggling here, there’s room for us all on the struggle bus!
If you do something specific to keep your “cool” then let me know! I would love to hear it!!